Many dates stand out in my mind. April 20, 2012 is really what I identify as the beginning of my cancer journey. Yes… there were red flags that something was wrong leading up to this date, but in the early morning hours on April 20 last year I woke up with sharp chest pains that increased every time I inhaled. I wasn’t in excruciating pain, but my body had started doing enough odd things that I knew something was wrong. As I got into my car to drive to work that morning, I decided to call my parents more than 500 miles away in Kansas to discuss the pains with them. My parents are usually pretty good at telling me I’m being a hypochondriac and not to worry about whatever XYZ thing is wrong with me. However, this time they calmly informed me that going to work was a bad idea and I needed to go to the ER. I quickly made a right instead of a left at the intersection I drive through every morning, and followed their advice. I soon heard the words “you have a mass” for the first time. Those words lead to my first biopsy on April 24, 2012 which led to a second biopsy, which eventually led to my diagnosis on May 11, 2012. Thinking about myself Before Cancer (BC) and After Cancer (AC) is very bizarre.
Before April 20 last year, the major struggles in my life revolved around my sense of purpose. I really didn’t know what I wanted to “do” with my life. I had a lot of interests pulling me in a lot of directions and I really struggled with making the wrong move. I was balancing graduate school and a full-time job, volunteering on the board for the LSU Austin Alumni Association and planning a vacation for when my husband would return home from deployment that summer. I had just started doing crossfit twice a week in the mornings before work, and had been really impressed with how much strength I had left from doing personal training several months before. Like most of my adult life I remember always feeling extremely busy.
Looking at my life AC, a lot of the surface value things are still the same. I’m still working the same job, I have yet to return to grad school but have plans to finish up a few projects within the next few months, and I’m trying to amp up my fitness level. However, there are definitely some differences. My husband is now back and we’ve spent more time living under the same roof in the pass 11 months than we had during the first two years of our marriage combined. I feel more stability in my personal life now than I have since before going to college. I just achieved a major fitness goal by finishing my first race last weekend at the Austin 10/20. However, I find that my motivations are so much different. While I’m still volunteering, I’m exclusively volunteering with cancer awareness related organizations/events. A year ago, I also never could have imagined that’d I’d be speaking in front of large groups of healthcare professionals or with the media about my experience as a young adult cancer survivor. Not once but multiple times within a two month time frame. It’s all very surreal.
When I decided to start working out on the reg when my husband deployed in 2011, I did it because I wanted to lose weight without much thought to my long-term health at all. Now I am very aware of how fragile life can be, and plan to do everything I can to stay healthy– for my family and for my future. Although I’ve never been an extremely fit person, when I began team-in-training I was at the lowest fitness level of my life– with the exception of when I was actually going through treatment. Various steroid/hormone treatments I had due to cancer coupled with months of low activity led me to gain about 20 lbs. something I’m still struggling with. More frustrating was my overall lack of energy and strength. I’ve definitely seen a marked improvement in both, and the fact I was able to achieve personal records for both distance and speed time and again during this recovery period has been amazing. I am looking forward to achieving more and more personal records, including completing my first half-marathon in June with my sister Theresa and with my team-in-training. More importantly I have fundraised more in the past few months than I have in my entire life BC for a cause I’m so passionate about. I really never worry about what my purpose in life is anymore, because I’ve found it. Cancer advocacy and fundraising will always be a part of my life until there is a cure… and even after because cancer survivorship issues will probably surpass my lifespan.
I spent the weekend of my annivERsary doing a great combination of things both the AC and BC Laura loves. We met up with our church friend on Friday to watch 42, an amazing movie by the way. I also found an amazing photographer through Shoots for a Cure, a nonprofit that offers free photography services to cancer fighters/survivors and their families. Much to Rene’s dismay I love documenting our lives a couple times a year when possible. Luckily I have a sister that is a professional photographer so she helps out with that a lot. Unfortunately, she lives in Wichita and despite her best efforts can’t always document our lives at my beck and call. However, I was so excited when I found Laura Reed with 2E Photography. Laura (not only sharing my first name) is also a cancer survivor, she is from Louisiana and does endurance events to benefit cancer awareness causes. Sound familiar? I really wanted to get photos done while the Texas bluebonnets were still blooming, and with the season quickly coming to a close, I was worried no one would be available. Luckily, Laura was able to work with our schedule. She met us in Georgetown bright and early on Saturday morning and we had so much fun (even Rene!) I’m sure I’ll be posting the finished products as soon as they are finished, so stay tuned!
After we wrapped up the photo shoot, we ran some errands and visited with a travel agent to discuss our possible (and long awaited) vacation we never got to take when Rene came home from deployment. Afterward we went to the LSU Austin crawfish boil to hang out with some fellow Texas Tigers and then met up with Team-In-Training for our mid-season party. Earlier today I volunteered with a group of TNTers and Rene to work at the Round Rock Express game, our local minor league baseball team, to raise money for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Despite some occasional stress, this weekend I spent a lot of time appreciating and thanking God for this amazing support system in my life. As rough as cancer was, I’ve met so many amazing people and strengthened so many relationships because of it.
Tomorrow I will be hosting a fundraiser at Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers in honor of my 26th birthday (which will be the day after on Tuesday) and my annivERsary. Then I will be headed to Las Vegas for the OMG Stupid Cancer conference on Thursday to connect with other young adult cancer survivors and supporters!
In the mean time, please consider showing your support by making a donation to my team-in-training by visiting my fundraising page here. Every dollar brings us closer to finding a cure!